The Invitation... To Vampires And All The Negatives Of Ancestry.com

Another spooky vampire or otherwise horror movie out and about, and here I and this podcast are to talk all about it!  Will you accept this invitation to this episode about the newest thing to sink your teeth into, The Invitation?  This episode has everything you could want.  Horror things, references to gothic architecture and Hallmark movies, romance, and a debate about the multiple portrayals of vampires and zombies in modern media.  But most importantly, this is a piece about a woman grappling with loss and loneliness, dismantling the patriarchy and finding herself along the way.  Things we can all relate to, this feminist anthem written and directed by women, it just has a vampire set dressing.  So yeah, you should absolutely flock to the theater to see this one and let me know on social at either @NickNack_IC or @NickNackMovis on Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok, or Letterboxd if you liked it and if this movie inspired you to tackle down the walls of the patriarchy too?

Transcript

Nick Nack Goes to the Movies Pod S3E16

-Intro/Jingle

-I am back on the podcast airwaves wherever you listen to these audio books that are more talking at you instead of regaling you with stories.  Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or however you get it, here I am to talk some more visual media!  So today, or tonight, not sure where or when you are listening to this, we are talking movies.  What movie is this?  

-In this one, The Invitation, we have vampires, ancestral lines, a bit of romance for all you lovebirds out there in modern times in the English countryside, doesn’t that sound nice? So let’s check out the newest look at a vampire movie not counting that Jamie Foxx Snoop Dogg one that I really need to see on Netflix.

-Actors

- Well this one will be quick for our usual actor roundup.  I pretty much know none of these people.  The immediate draw was seeing Sean Pert-Wee as another British butler with a bit of an attitude.  First for me appearing in the very underrated Fox show and Batman prequel story, Gotham.  If you can get past the more procedural first season of episodes and into the better comic storylines, there is a great show that both he, Ben McKenzie, and a ton of other actors made good work out of!

-Outside of that, the lead of course is someone you are also familiar with, Nathalie Emmanuel.  Which might either be from dumb but fun action car movie franchise, Fast and Furious, The Amy of the dead prequel movie, army of thieves, or most importantly, especially with the GOT prequel out and all manner of fantasy tv at the forefront with that and rings of power, she was in the OG game of thrones.  She was Misandei!  What a show, I am in the rare camp of while not loving how the show wrapped, yes, the rushed storylines were sad and missed as well the king at the end was bad, but overall, I really liked the show!

-The Invitation

-So now that that is out of the way, what is this movie?  Well, I was kind of in a bit of a funk and needed to once again scare some feelings out into me.  So, it was kind of the same vibe as when I saw the Black Phone.  I had a bit less faith in accepting The Invitation this time around.  But there I was, that and I have been watching and consuming more and more vampire content, rewatching Dracula 2000 with Gerald Butler, the Castlevania animated show on Netflix, and more.  

-This movie was pretty much in short, a cautionary tale all about ancestry.com, that thing my mom, and I am sure many moms are for sure about.  But here me out, what about being related to a vampire somehow?  After game of thrones, I did not know how Ancestry.com tied into this vampire person.  But, let’s discuss and find out/reflect together.

-So, having seen many of these vampire movies of late, including the ones where either James Woods or even weirder, Jon Bon Jovi, hunts them down, there are so many different vampire rules to these things.  Not unlike the quirky notion of every variety of zombie ever. Like do they go slow and move scarily in big herds like the walking dead, or are there smart ones like Army of the Dead?  Well with varieties of zombies, the varieties of vampires exist too, sometimes they blend together.  Mostly they are this sexy variety that exist in some semblance of societal power, sexy vampire lady from Resident Evil village, the society of them in charge in that movie I like way more that I probably speak on and love too much, Daybreakers.  Or some sort of horrible spooky version in that movie that gives me pause to live in Alaska, 30 Days in Night.  So what are we dealing with here.

-Well, for the most part, this is your pretty standard sexy vampire man who is vaguely European, this time English, who can look like a spooky vampire at times, but pretty much he is a sexy vampire man.  This story takes its inspiration, especially in the look of things, from classic gothic fare, the HGTV fan in me is freaking out with the cool aesthetic and gothic backsplashes.

-The big advertisement of it was that it took inspiration from the OG Dracula story, Bram Stoker’s novel which was published all the way back in 1897.  I know, that shit be old as fuck.  I love me some roaring 20’s to roaring 60’s music, but that might be older than even I dare to go.  And you could get lost in that for just 6 shillings, pretty reasonable if you ask me.

-So, to this movie instead, it starts off fairly spooky enough, I do love a good early jump scare paired with a fake-out and this movie got me good.  So often are vampire people men, and normally they are the leader of, it is either a coven or brood or something like that, you get the gist.  But having this woman try to escape and aggressively NFL player check this version of the Alfred Butler from Fox’s Gotham, Pertwee, before hanging herself with some strong ass wire, that was a hardcore start to some dark stuff.

-From there we get the lighter side of horror movies.  They always have to start off fairly bright and happy enough before getting super spooky and horrible.  And in this one, we get a down on her luck Emmanuel, who has really been working her ass off to make it in New York city, modern day NYC at that.  It is worth noting that even thought a lot of the movie takes place in a gothic timeless mansion, this is a modern-day story with cellphones and all that.  And of course, Ancestry.com type websites.  And if it were not for one innocent enough DNA test, the whole of this Vampire society would pretty much collapse soon enough.

-Now how weird is it that she gets messaged by someone after the results of her looking for some family out there to ease her loneliness happens almost instantaneously?  I mean, yeah, being lonely sucks, that part I relate to, not with the fam, love them, hi mom if you’re listening, but the dating app woes are strong in Wisconsin.  But this knockoff Ancestry.com should not be giving out info like that, you should be able to make the first move.  Now the assumption is the software does not work like this and the vampire cabal just has deep seeded connections in every aspect of the world?  That is how I see it at least.  

-So this call to action, the chance to see some cash money in her alleged family connection, and the opportunity to make some connection to ease her sense of loneliness in this world, and we are off to the seaside town of Whitby in the Scarborough borough of North Yorkshire.  

-Whitby is a little under a 5-hour drive from Tottenham Hotspur Stadium where the Green Bay Packers will take on the New York Giants in a Week 5 NFC showdown!  Be there or be a square.  And of course, you could also watch it on NFL Network, the game and the action kicks off at 8:30 am Central Daylight Time.  Sports read over, that takes me back to my ICTV sports anchor days as well as my on-air career at UMass calling all manner of Soccer, Lacrosse, and Field Hockey!

-And once we get to the mansion it is all very cute, sure there is some tough stuff about treating waitstaff with some much-deserved respect, which Emmanuel is all too keen to note with her previous experience working in these service-oriented jobs.  But she is just smitten as sexy vampire man played by Thomas Doherty, never seen him before, but he plays the charming vampire like super-duper well.  

-There is a spot in this vampire movie early on, where the invitation could feel more like an invitation to one of these Hallmark movies where the Christmas tree farm man falls madly in love with the business woman who is always working and never has time to enjoy the little things like toasting a single marshmallow or feeding the local ducks.  But throwing caution to the wind after some clear red flags they fall madly in and out of love until it turns out that Christmas tree farm man was actually the King of Christmas and the founder of the concept of e-mail, and they live happy ever after and fly off on reindeer!  If you like that pitch Hallmark, let me know, I would love to sell the idea to you!

-Tis the season for Hallmark movies and all that starting to air on October 21st and going all the way till December 18th, or so my mom has told me.

But with all the romance, fireworks, pageantry, and long passionate kisses or conversations about taking someone away from the hardships and love overcoming all, something feels a bit off.  You know that going into it, and if you did not, the first vampire hanging escape scene would have to flash in your mind which this movie does start with.  But you are just waiting for the disaster and reveal to happen and slowly discover the creepy ambiance in this spooky ass house, or mansion is more apt.

-Now the whole idea is for some fancy wedding to happen, which we never really do see a bride and groom, weird right?  But through the numbered maids getting hunted one by one by some vampire person, we know who it is.  The question early on is not who is a vampire, we know one for sure, the question is how many people people are actually vampire people.

-After this the movie has a fun enough blend of scorned lover drama with all these bridesmaids, whimsical enough pranks like sucking the blood out of someone’s finger and having vampire people run amuck on the canopy bed top, classic pranks and all that.  Scary stuff.  

-This movie is not like the scariest thing out there, by any stretch, no creepy nun demon ladies like the nun or the conjuring 2, and no spiders as big as houses like every fantasy and some sci-fi things I otherwise adore.  But the big relationship drama of course was discovering she had a background check performed on her but this sexy vampire man.  Which somehow is not a bigger deal and his powers as a wordster somehow gets him out of it and they end up shockingly hooking up.  Never has better wordstering been done since Shaggy convinced us all, it wasn’t me.

-Probably the scariest part of this movie comes after that for this supposed rehearsal wedding dinner, things turn less Hallmark movie, less The Divine Pine Tree Paring, that was my best attempt at coming up with a title for my alleged Hallmark movie concept, might have to ask my mom for some brainstorm help there, she is the expert.  And instead the true nature of this vampire version of a Ready or Not and Get Out combo.  I think it is a bit more Ready or Not, which was a really unique concept and execution for a horror movie that catapulted Matt Bettinelli-Oplin and Tyler Gillett to the future of the Scream franchise and Samara Weaving to the 6th entry of the franchise, assumingly she is the killer, she has to be.  

-Also, let’s not forget that somehow, they will not pay Neve Campbell the money she deserves to be in these.  That is a travesty and I really hope that gets alleviated and she will somehow be in it, I just do not see it coming sadly.

-But his movie goes wild when this marriage is of course forced and they cut a maid’s throat and all these people, well only 3, but 3 feels like too many for this, start pounding down this blood into their gullets like me back in the day with some surprise cocktails, the official cocktails of Nick Nack from Nick Nack Goes to The Movies, the podcast you are listening to right now!

-There is some blah blah explanation of these three families need to donate a daughter to this guy so they can have some whatever balance of power and sexy vampire man can have 3 wives.  The logic is thin at best here, and it raises the question.  What if the only relatives left were men?  Is this vampire potentially Bi if the need for the balance of power is worth it for his whole empire and legacy?  Or is he just super greedy and wants three wives because that is what he wants.  Somehow, I think he is just a greedy little asshole.  But that is me, the vampire patriarchy is strong with this one.  

-Now this part of the movie is both a sprint and a repetitive drag.  An escape attempt here or there.  The action and suspense and dead bodies is all good and well, but I feel like it loses stakes seeing her run around and escape to get the leg up once before getting capture again by some cute and kindly looking old folks and ends up back at the forced vampire wedding.

-And through reasons, she ends up accepting becoming a vampire lady, but not to succumb to the patriarchy, instead it is to almost immediately try and topple it from the inside.  And I like the notion that this vampire guy is so used to getting his way that he is blindsided by this, very funny.  Emmanuel takes her new-found vampire powers to burn that SOB and stab him a bit, not killing him, but getting a good start to it.  Now she does make a dent in his infrastructure and his two brides.  I mean really, they kill each other and have a vampire lady fight that ends in a draw.  But once again, it is unclear but I am pretty sure he does not need all these vampire ladies in his club.  Club?  Squad?  Yeah let’s go with that, witches have covens and vampires have squads.  And if you don’t believe me, you can spend 6 shillings and read Bram Stoker’s novel and learn that for yourself.

-But he too is lonely, we are all lonely, but maybe stick with one vampire bride, with CONSENT, thank you very much, sheesh!

-There is a bit of racism in the vampire club too mixed in with the sexism, because of course there is.  But that is just another thing that vampire powered Emmanuel can take down because she is a bad ass boss lady who topples the patriarchy, taking out the butler, the brides (she helped at least), and of course the main man himself with a good drop kick into the fire.  

-I did not go into this movie knowing it, but this piece is really about a woman taking down the patriarchy with a vampire set dressing.  This movie is a feminist work of art perfect for spooky season!  And the end has a fun epilogue that she is not done with the eat, pray, revenge tour!

-Letterboxd Reviews

- The Invitation – 3 Stars

-wrap/call to action

-That is the episode with a movie that is fun, has some interesting takes on vampire lore and the classic gothic architecture, and most importantly, tackles the patriarchy!  I don’t know if this movie will blow you away.  But there is something to be said about this feminist anthem piece which feels empowering enough.  And just having a fun time at the movies, either with friends or by yourself in a near empty theater like I did this one.  So, go watch it and let me know what you thoughts on this is on social at either @NickNackMovies or Nick Nack underscore IC on twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok, and everywhere else.  I want to know if this movie inspired you to tackle down the walls of the patriarchy!  Well, that is all for me, so cheers, and as always, until next time Cinephiles.